http://www.attachmentparenting.org/forums The mission of Attachment Parenting International (API) is to educate and support all parents in raising secure, joyful, and empathic children in order to strengthen families and create a more compassionate world. The API forums are a place for AP-minded families to connect with others from around the world. en Thu, 17 May 2012 08:00:07 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.attachmentparenting.com/forums/cb/misc/rss.jpg http://www.attachmentparenting.org/forums http://www.attachmentparenting.org/forums/showthread.php?t=7572&goto=newpost Tue, 15 May 2012 05:39:26 GMT I rock and nurse my 5-month old to sleep for naps, but as soon as I put her down she wakes up. I can't pat her back to sleep - I have to start all over again with rocking and nursing. She doesnt cry, just gradually becomes more awake and alert! I find this so exhausting that I don't really like to try putting her down. So for most of her life she has napped in my arms, me on the couch, often she is still attached to my boob while she sleeps. There have been a couple of short periods in her life when I could put her down to nap, but not any more!

She is an extremely happy, smiley, chatty baby! She rarely cries. I feel that napping in my arms is great for her! So I feel guilty when trying to get her to nap alone. But I am going a bit nuts, sitting on the couch for hours on end every day.*

So my question - is this a developmental phase that she will overcome herself? In which case i can just keep doing what I'm doing and wait it out? Or do I need to teach her to sleep alone using some kind of gentle methods?

I'd love to hear from anyone who has had a similar experience!

Strangely, she was a good night sleeper from early on, she sleeps in a crib attached to our bed, waking only 1-2 times during the night to feed. If I had to change her nappy and she fully awoke, I could still put her in her bed and she would fall asleep herself! But can't do it for naps! (However at 4-months she started waking 4-5 times per night for feeds and has been doing it ever since! But that is another issue I guess, it's her naps that I find most tiring).*

Things I've tried that haven't worked:
- putting her down when awake but drowsy.*
- putting her down when in solid sleep
- patting, shushing, singing
- putting her down nestled next to me
- feeding lying down - she falls asleep but wakes after 1/2 hour even with me still next to her.*
- nap time 'routine' of singing, closing all curtains in our unit, nursing.*
- she also won't sleep in the sling or the pram! So I'm restricted to the couch during all her naps! ]]> Ensure Safe Sleep, Physically and Emotionally (and Nighttime Parenting) / Asegurar un sueño Seguro jaclachmann http://www.attachmentparenting.org/forums/showthread.php?t=7572 http://www.attachmentparenting.org/forums/showthread.php?t=7570&goto=newpost Mon, 14 May 2012 01:10:56 GMT Good Evening,
I am a "new mom" to 3 girls. My family has been through too many changes over the last 3 years and I am honestly lost and exhausted.
My husband and I married in 2007. We have no family (his is deceased and mine is all in Brazil, while we live in USA). In 2009 we got pregnant of our first daughter. At the same time we participated in a mission and met a 12yo orphan from Ukraine with whom we fell in love. So when my baby girl was about 20 days old, my husband left me in USA and spent 6 weeks in there, adopting our daughter (who at the time was already 13).
They came home the Sunday my daughter turned 3mo, and the day before I went back to work (work refused to allow me to stay home longer, and I could not afford to stop working after spending $28.000 in an adoption).
Therefore, we went from the 2 of us, to 2 kids. My 13yo spoke no English, was emotionally at an 8 or 9yo stage, and required LOTS of attention and teaching. My 3mo was... well 3mo... And to make it more complicated I had to work.
We worked tons, fought in school, spent tons of time with both of them... and by "surprise" we did get pregnant again.
So fast forward now, We have a very OVERWHELMING situation...
- We have a 15yo who is thriving, but still has mild attachment issues, and needs a lot more attention than she is getting. She has caught up a lot but is still behind emotionally... I'd say at a 11 or 12yo level... She helps a lot with her sisters but is suffering because we have no much time for her.
- We have a 2y2mo child who is having the HARDEST time adjusting. First that somewhere in the end of pregnancy my milk kind of dried. She was about 18mo and weaned of saying that it was all done. She is very needy, clingy, crying for everything, craving for attention (and searching for the negative attention), will only want to stay with me, will not allow sisters to be even close to me (will hit, push, etc if any of her sisters are on me). She will want me to hold her, etc
- We have a 4mo who is being breastfed, sleeps in one of those bassinets that attach to my bed, and nurses on demand when I am home (which since I went back to work means almost every hour).
- My husband works as a teacher, and I am a physical therapist working Monday through Thursday from 8 till 2pm.

We are exhausted. I am really not sure how to juggle it all. My 2yo needs so much attention and reassurance that we don't get much with the other 2 kids. But because we are still trying to give some time to the other 2 (specially baby who is fed), we dont end up giving much to the 2yo at all. I can't get anything done, the house is a mess, and we barely get dinner, and laundry done.
I have a baby carrier, but for some reason the 4mo fusses when on the carrier. I actually have started putting the 2yo on the carrier. She loves it, but she is kind of big and covers my view, so I can't really cook or do much stuff. And if the 2yo is on the carrier, the baby is alone on the swing (which makes me feel bad).

I guess we are in a cycle where we have no energy to do anything. I have no energy to run, clean, organize, work, nothing. By the time my 2yo is in bed (about 8:30), we are ready to go home. My husband and I have not had any time alone since the baby is born. NONE.

I really need help figuring out how to give each child the time, care they need, at the same time not being so exhausted and being able to spend any "awake" time with my husband ]]> Strive for Balance in Personal and Family Life / Procurar un equilibrio entre la vida familiar y la sandykassia http://www.attachmentparenting.org/forums/showthread.php?t=7570 http://www.attachmentparenting.org/forums/showthread.php?t=7562&goto=newpost Thu, 10 May 2012 03:57:28 GMT My daughter is 3.5 she will start preschool in the Fall. I looked at a few preschools and found one that I felt very comfortable with, I am allowed... My daughter is 3.5 she will start preschool in the Fall. I looked at a few preschools and found one that I felt very comfortable with, I am allowed to stay until she is ready for me to go, the first day we go all day together all the parents do. They have a philosophy that works so well for me as an AP parent. My daughter loved the school when we went to visit. It is a Cooperative school so the parents run the business end of things. Tonight I went to the business meeting, and one of the things the school does is through an annual Gala as a major fundraiser, it is an evening event and a pretty big to do. I was assigned to the committee that puts this together. I am stressed out and anxious because the obvious expectation is that you leave your kids for the evening. Which I have never left my kids for an evening with anyone other than my husband nor do I want to. Top it all off they are throwing this Gala the night of my 30th birthday.

I love the curriculum and the teachers and director, but this Gala is seriously got me stressed out! ]]> Strive for Balance in Personal and Family Life / Procurar un equilibrio entre la vida familiar y la mommypower http://www.attachmentparenting.org/forums/showthread.php?t=7562 http://www.attachmentparenting.org/forums/showthread.php?t=7559&goto=newpost Sat, 05 May 2012 17:56:42 GMT We are giving birth to API of Las Vegas. We meet the 3rd Thursday of each month at 10:30 at Pinkpeas. We are regularly in touch via our facebook... We are giving birth to API of Las Vegas. We meet the 3rd Thursday of each month at 10:30 at Pinkpeas. We are regularly in touch via our facebook page. Search "Attachment Parenting International of Las Vegas". ]]> API in the Southwestern United States amanda http://www.attachmentparenting.org/forums/showthread.php?t=7559 http://www.attachmentparenting.org/forums/showthread.php?t=7555&goto=newpost Wed, 02 May 2012 12:50:52 GMT Just wanted to recommend to all the moms with baby multiples the book "Mothering Multiples" by Karen Gromada. You might also want to check out the "AP Multiples" Yahoo Group at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/apmultiples/ . It's not affiliated with API, but is a great second resource.
:heart
Pam ]]> Parenting Multiples WildBlueberry http://www.attachmentparenting.org/forums/showthread.php?t=7555 http://www.attachmentparenting.org/forums/showthread.php?t=7554&goto=newpost Tue, 01 May 2012 21:06:53 GMT My twin boys are 4 now, and I'm pregnant with a singleton. I'm remembering back to how difficult that first year was with twin infants. All the "normal" AP behaviors seemed physically and emotionally impossible, and it took a long time to find my way. I can remember tandem nursing, and bursting into tears because I was SO thirsty and didn't have a free hand to take a drink of water. I can remember seeing other moms with their babies in carriers, and being so upset that I just couldn't manage to carry both at the same time. It was overwhelming to meet the needs of two infants, let alone mine and the siblings' at the same time. Just wondering if anyone else here is going through this / has gone through this, and wants to share stories? Maybe our stories can help other twin moms who need some support. ]]> Parenting Multiples WildBlueberry http://www.attachmentparenting.org/forums/showthread.php?t=7554 http://www.attachmentparenting.org/forums/showthread.php?t=7541&goto=newpost Wed, 18 Apr 2012 17:02:21 GMT ...I have written a lot here about my v sensitve daughter who has fairly frequent, intense meltdowns and feeling drained, overwhelmed by them and so... ...I have written a lot here about my v sensitve daughter who has fairly frequent, intense meltdowns and feeling drained, overwhelmed by them and so on...

SO, sleep is abig factor - on the v rare ocassions where she might have a few nights in a row of sleeping 8-9 hrs in a row - very rare and near or past 7am then they are so much less frequent etc...

she has never been a great sleeper, but just recently it has got worse.. I am in 'acceptance' mode right now - but it is a lot of waking in the past week... I have all sorts of theories. I am dealing with it this week fine, but sometimes it concerns me....

anyone else have 3-4-5 yr old waking frequently in the night? how do they wake? is it something emotional? my temperment etc etc??


any feedback or sharing of experiences woul be SO SO appreciated.


THANKS ]]> Ensure Safe Sleep, Physically and Emotionally (and Nighttime Parenting) / Asegurar un sueño Seguro Reggie22 http://www.attachmentparenting.org/forums/showthread.php?t=7541